Funny Mexican Jokes
Why can’t Mexicans play Uno?
Because they always steal the green card.
What is the difference between a Mexican and an elevator?
One can raise a child.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed
What is the average age of the Mexican army?
Thirty, they take them right out of high school
What do Mexicans and vending machines have in common?
They both take your money and don’t work.
How many officers does it take to arrest a Mexican Guy?
4 — 1 to arrest him and 3 to carry his oranges.
Why do Mexicans make great astronauts?
Because they take up space in school
What do you call a group of stoned Mexican people?
Baked beans
How do you get 50 Mexicans inside a phone booth?
Throw food stamps in.
Funny Mexican Jokes
Why do Mexicans eat Tamales for Christmas?
So they have something to unwrap
What is it when a Mexican is taking a shower?
A miracle
How does every Mexican joke start?
By looking around to make sure it’s clear…
A bunch of Mexicans are running away from a building, what is going on?
Jail break
How do you starve a Mexican?
Put their food stamps on their work boots
What’s the best boxing a Mexican does?
Oranges!
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says “We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive”
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers “God Save The Queen” and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers “Viva La France” and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers “Remember the Alamo” and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
Why were there only 5,000 Mexican soldiers at the battle of Alamo?
They only had 2 vans.
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